Seasons of change

"Change is growth. Growth is life." ~willPower Team

I love this time of year. I prefer the colder days to the warmer ones for obvious reasons, but it's not about cold or warm weather. It's about the opportunity to embrace change.  Yes, I said it...embrace change. It is during this season that all of the planning for January programming really ramps up. Its the oppportunity to take a look at the past 10 months and try to find nuggets of beauty and identify false gold. As the wellness department at my Y enters the budget season, I see bright lights that lead the way for change to actually occur. It is this time of the year when I am afforded the chance to put my visions of where I think we should be into play. Its also the season for change to occur within me. Year after year I find that I turn my thoughts internally and begin to identify areas in my life that need change.

I believe that we are all change agents. The power lies within to change or challenge a situation that may be taking up too much space. That is the most amazing thing about change. It really has less to do with our environment and  more about our mindfullness of the direction we want our lives to take. I often find it funny when I hear people say that they "hate change". Sometimes I want to say, "Sorry friend, change is part of life. Maybe you should find a way to deal with it". As I use an enormous amount of will power to keep my mouth shut I can't help but to also think, "Does this person or group of people not look in the mirror? Change is always looking right back at them." I have found more so in the last couple of years that the changes in my life are most evident in my face. I am finding that as I grow a tad bit older each year I am graced with beautiful rites of passage under my eyes, and my the emphasis of my smile is more apparent even when I am not smiling. You may ask, "Is there ever a time when you are not smiling?" Yes, there is. Fortunately those times are rare. Change is an empowering opportunity to take the circumstances of your life and divert the current path to a healthier one.

When one begins a journey of change she will find resistance in every direction. It becomes difficult to stay the course and walk the rocky path of uncertainty. The uncertainty often comes from a place of insecurity. We become insecure about the outcomes of the directional change we have started. Our self confidence begins to slip and before we know it we have given up and are resolved in the fact that the new direction would have never worked anyway. You should stop to consider all that you learned on the journey before it got too tough and you began to give into the resistance. Valueable lessons can be learned from a failed attempt to change.

My challenge for you is to look for opportunities to create positive changes in your life or see the changes taking place as a wonderful part of life. If you try something and it doesn't really work consider yourself lucky that you can always change directions again.

"How people treat us is their karma, how we react is ours." ~Wayne Dyer

When you are happy and content with your own life, you act in kind, happy and loving ways toward everyone around you. As within, so without, and no matter how mean people might act toward you at times, you will stay perfectly serene and peaceful, responding in loving to their behavior -- for that is who you are, and you give out that which is within.

I have been asked and it has been brought to my attention more times than I can count that my happiness is evident in every aspect of my life. In my 5 and half years at the Benbrook Community Center YMCA I have experienced ups and downs. In this organizational movement the pressure to stand out and stay ahead is high. We may be the Y and seen as the all loving organization where you can donate (yes, we are a charity), add years to your life by changing your unhealthy habits, learn to swim, take your children while you work, and you name it. Members of YMCA's are very passionate about their branch. We like to call it their "home branch". It is like home in many ways. For Y employees, we feel like we live here. For our members, you feel like you have a place to just be as you are, and belong. That is important to us..as it should be. When there is this level of support, call to action, close relationships, and passion flowing through each building we discover many things about ourselves as Y members and Y employees. Just like in every family we will have disagreements. We may not see eye to eye on various aspects of our second home. All of this to say, that from time to time we experience heated moments when each side is squeezed. An example:

I had the opportunity to sit with a long time member and cancer survivor a few weeks ago. I will not reveal his name, but he and I have a long relationship. I first met this gentleman while sitting in on a heated discussion about space allocation in our facilty as it pertained to the the Active Older Adult programs. At the time I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. The member was very upset, and from where he was sitting I was the perfect target to unload everything from why his complimentary coffee was cold to why the Active Older Adult program could not have their own room or facility. Unbenounced to him, my blood pressure was sky rocketing. I excused myself in enough time to get to my prenatal appointment. I was only aloud to the leave the hospital for one day under the watchful care of my mother, who is a Labor Nurse after that interaction. Little did this member know, but I delivered my son a week after this interaction, but it did not matter.  I assured him that we were not disrespecting this group of individuals and that we must serve a large population of community members and promised I'd deliver his message loud and clear to my supervisor at the time.

Fast forward 4 years....my son is now a healthy 4 1/2 year old and the joy of my life. I never told this man that I was sure he sent me straight to delivery after his intense pressure and hostile conversation. I simply let it go. I have had subsequent interactions with this man since our first encounter so I felt okay that our next conversation would proceed in a very pleasant manner. And it did. He asked me to sit down and he proceeded to tell me that in the last 2 or 3 years I have been a completely different person. I have lost 60 or so pounds. I walk around like I don't have a care in the world. I am confident and no longer show signs of "wear and tear" if you will. (This is very common for Y employees.) He wanted to know what was it that was driving me to this obvious state of happiness.

I laughed, and said it's possible the neon colored Zumba clothes I insist upon wearing every day could have something to do with it. He laughed and said, I think I remember you mostly wearing very conservative clothes and now you don't care if your clothes even match. I told him I thought that was a matter of oppinion. I proceeded to share with him my calling, or personal mission and goal in life. I shared with him that I have had a change in perspective since entering mommyhood. My goal, or mission if you will, is to stand up for what is right. To see people for who they are, not what they look like or what circumstances they come from. To make a positive impact on anyone and everyone who may be open to that. I will live my mission so that my son can see it and learn from it. I want to work hard and play hard. If I am lucky I won't be able to tell the difference between the two. There's no way to measure this type of success. He said, how do you know if you are impacting people in the way you want? I said I don't, and that is the glory of it. You get what you see...orange juice.

"When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out--because that is what is inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what's inside." ~Wayne Dyer


I can't tell you exactly what it was that changed my perspective. All I know is that I am a better person for it. There are things I hope will happen in my life, but if they dont' happen...I'm okay with that too.

Not feeling so lucky

It's about that time of year for me to begin really experiencing my symptoms. I have been feeling a little beaten down for the last week or so. I have to say that it is getting increasingly frustrating to feel like I am embarking the best condition I have been in since moving back to Fort Worth yet still feel breathless between Zumba and Combat songs. Now for the last 3-4 weeks I have felt the weakness start in my arms and move to my feet eventually causing me to stop hit pause and delay the next song bluffing and talking about random ways to get and stay involved at the Y until I have gained enough air and confidence to try again and push play.


Before moving here, I ran and trained for marathons with two friends and over the course of 2 years managed to run myself to the fittest condition I have ever been in. I moved here to begin my journey at the BCC YMCA and found myself really happy and suddenly pregnant. God works in amazing ways and I am truly blessed to have the small family he has given me. After our lil' man was born I found myself overweight and uncomfortable in my skin. I was encouraged by a sudden interruption in my vision to see a new nuerologist and soon discovered I had an infection/parasite in my brain that was attacking my optical nerves and causing me to lose my eye sight. In my own persistant way, we were able to make the parasite dormant and I was able regain my vision again. I also wanted and still deperately want to be able to handle my core temperature going up like a normal person. A year or so later I was given a detrimental blow to my endurance junkie ways. It was scientifically proven that I will not ever be able to do the things I used to do. I was told, unless I move to a colder region of the US or invent some weird device/shirt cooling system to keep me cold I would have to give up on bucket list goals like attempting to qualify for the Boston Marathon or anything of that nature. It is unlikely that I will even be able to tolerate the beating our great state of Texas provides during the summer months long enough to get from the parking lot to my office, a few hundred yards away. It can be mentally defeating.

So that sort of brings me to this week. Normally, I don't write much about my symptoms because I don't want to seem as though I am a complainer. I have been given this body and my talents for a reason. At the end of my AMAZING life I will stand before the Almighty and have to answer for the life I have led. I refuse to stand in front of him and tell that I gave up because of the adversity that has been so boldly placed in front of me. I have been put on this earth to inspire, encourage, teach, and motivate. There is no doubt in my mind, I am doing what I was meant to do.

So today, I am not feeling so lucky. I am feeling tired, hot, hotter, and not nearly as strong as I look. If you were to look at me, you would see that I am fit. I do workout. I do work very hard...but my insides sing another song. It is like my brain and my body are at war. My brain says, "Push play and dance". My body says, "Slow down sister. I will make you slow down whether you want to or not, and should you not listen to me, I will force you to hear me and I will cause you to verbally stutter, feel as though you are floating on air, and if that is not loud enough to make you stop I will make it so you have a hard time raising your hands over your head. I will cause you to have mental fog so dense you can't see straight."


My reaction to this war is usually defeat, anger, and then stubborness. When I tell people about my condition, they always ask why do you keep doing this if it is that hard? I don't have an answer. I would not be me if I did not try to persist through it, move around it, or try to find ways to beat it. It's like a game to me. How hard can I go before I am forced to step back? How close can I get to the line before I cross over?


So, since I have taught more than I should have this week I find myself at home, trying to sleep but somehow continuing to think about Body Pump, Body Combat, and Zumba; my three new favorite classes to teach. I am laying there thinking, how am I going to be able to teach Combat in a couple weeks and still function the rest of the day? It is a very real question I began to entertain last night. I am not sure. I could hardly make it through 30 minutes of Zumba lastnight before feeling completely defeated and motivated to run for the hills. I did not and thank goodness I had some good friends to bail me out for few songs while I regained a tiny bit of feeling and caught my breath. I am wondering though...how appropriate would it be to teach in as few clothes as possible at the Y? Ha, another strategy to attempt to dodge the inevitable.


Eventually I will have to succumb to Ross Syndrome and drastically change my life in lieu of being able feel my feet consistantly but not today. Today, I am going shopping for skorts that fly through the air when I dance. I am looking for one in hot pink, black and lime green. I will look at shoes that allow my feet to be cooler and move freely.


Perhaps after shopping I will feel a bit more lucky!!

Sisterhood

Last weekend I was able to spend some time with by BFF from my TCU days and discovered the power of sisterhood. I have sisters, two of them in fact. I am very close to each of them, but what I found at this celebration was different from traditional sisterhood. Hotty Hubby, Lil Man, the blonde dog, and I all got in the car a little too late on Friday night and made our way to Cedar Park where we were staying with my brother in law. We were about two miles from his exit when we hear from the back a very groggy Lil man say "mommy my head hurts and I think I am going to throw up". Now, with him being 3, we hear this sort of thing all of them time. Especially when he doesn't agree with the activity we are doing or want him to do. We were not in a place where we could just pull off the highway. We needed an exit, but the exit did not come fast enough. Sure as Hotty Hubby put the blinker on, projectile vomit begins to spew, the really stinky kind. Ugh, gross. Chaos ensued with a quick change of clothes, and a mommy sort of wipe down but we eventually made it to Uncle's house where I immediately put little guy in the tub. Hotty Hubby and Uncle both make a quick run to the car wash to anti-stink the car and sleep shortly followed. I had to tell that part of the story because I was freaking out inside that this event would set the tone of this super quick trip to Austin. We all rested well and got up the next day feeling and smelling much better. Once we all had breakfast, I realized I had to get a gift. It seems my "Y" life gets in the way of extra stuff like shopping for a baby gift. I had the perfect gift in mind, but no time to go get it. I figured Cedar Park had a Baby's R Us somewhere and they do. I never found it or my perfect gift. I was able to settle for the second best perfect gift . I got her a scrapbook. It is funny because I love to scrapbook and until our Lil man came along I spent almost all of my time scrapbooking. It is my contribution to further educating future family members of their past in a very colorful and creative way. Once I found my way to South Austin for a Baby Shower I walked in thinking, I am only going to know one or two people and for the most part that was true. It didn't matter though. I was there for my friend who was embarking on the most amazing journey. One I did not fully understand until I joined the club myself. I walked and a different friend from college walked up to me. Robin and Manda had been friends for almost as long and Manda and I have been friends but Robin and I had never really hung out. Outside of being Thetas, we didn't really have anything in common. I was an athlete and gym rat, who dated this dude from Denton and spent more weekends there than on campus. She was a theater girl, RTF major, and a good kind of different from me. We were joined by Theta and that connection would reunite us. Manda and Robin kept in touch and the three of us would sometimes cross paths when Manda would visit FW. We immediately picked up on wherever it was we left off and enjoyed each other's company. I discovered that she still lives in FW and being so close we should hang out. We talked and tag teamed the gift opening/notetaking job. She is probably way better at that sort of thing than me, I get so involved in gifts and cards to write down what gift is from who. The really cool part of my story did not really happen until after the party was over. By 4 o'clock or so several people had left. Manda's co-workers and future in-laws had all said their goodbyes and moved on to the rest of their weekend. The shower was thrown by Manda's mom and several of her friends. This was a collection of women who have chosen to stick together through life's ups and downs. We all gathered around Manda to talk about mommyhood and friendship. Robin has not officially joined the mommy club, but she is such an amazing friend we embraced her into our group. She will get there in her own time, we all do. It hit me like a ton of bricks when one of the ladies said she remembered Judy's, Manda's mom, shower for Manda. They talked about the gifts they gave her and how the celebrated the momentous occasion. As I was sitting there listening, I realized quickly though our small group of three did not equal mass of her mom's group, the meaning and relationship was the same. I was sitting there thinking oh my goodness, Manda has been in my life longer than my husband and child. She knows things about me that perhaps he doesn't, although I am not sure I could say what if put on the spot, but you get what I am saying. She remembers the Sigma Nu party we went to before driving to Dallas to the club I met my hubby. It warms my heart and makes me smile to think I have friends like this in my life. We are sisters in many ways. We have chosen, like Judy's friends, to stick together through it all. I have spent a significant amount of time in the last year or so thinking I need more girlfriends in my life. My time is spent building relationships and sharing myself with others. I do it everyday and have no problem doing it, but how well do we really know the people that are building those relationships with? We like to think they are solid relationships and friends we could call on at a moment's notice to bail us out of what ever situation has arrived. We call on those friends when we need support, encouragement, and accountablility. I guess, I am thinking about how deep those roots go. I believe that true friends like Robin and Manda only come around once in a while. Manda and I spent about a year or so not talking to each other because life just got in the way. That time apart somehow changed us, maybe for the better...who knows. People snicker about Facebook adictions and the level of false intimacy it provides, but it was through Facebook that we reconnected. I could not be happier we did!! We have hung out more in the last 3 months than we have in the 3 years!! We do what sisters do...pick up where you left off and keep going. I get emotional thinking about what those friendships really mean to me and how they have made me the woman I am today. I left Manda, Robin, and Judy that day thinking I am glad to have friends like this. It is rare and I am so LUCKY to have them in my life. To my new friends, I only hope that we can create roots just as deep and impactful!! The future only knows which of my new friends will stay in my life through thick and thin and all of the ups and downs life will bring. I am really thinking....I am so incredibly LUCKY!!

Fear

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, I just don't care?"

I have. I hate Ross!! It scares the shit out of me!! No one knows anything about it, including the most brilliant docs in Dallas!! I feel like I never know what kind of body I will wake up with each day. Which one will it be? Will I float in the air on stubs and feel weak and beaten down or will I get the be the Rockstar I know I am? I look fear in the face everyday!! This week I have taught 10 classes this week with every format under the sun from Water to Yoga to Cycle to Zumba. Monday was the most disasterous when I was teaching Aqua Zumba for a friend. My feet were gone right from the get go. I have very little recolection of the class, meaning I know what my playlist was because I just took my Wednesday music and modified the moves, but as far as smiling, connecting, having a great time??? Who knows??? I hear it was a great class!! I just wish I could have remembered it!!!

I know, I know...not certified yet, but what does a Fitness Director do with 40 people expecting to dance underwater?? Wait, did that just sound weird, well guess what...it is, but people are coming like drones because they are addicted to it!! Can you imagine a lady or man who weighs more than 400 pounds saying "F you fear, I am going to shake it like nothing else underwater and I don't care who is watching" and then actually doing it? It is crazy inspirational!! I have people tell me everytime I teach that I have such positive light and spirit that I am motivational and inspirational but the truth is, I am no different than you guys!! I gather as much strength as I can every morning no matter what my body is telling me and I come to work and get inspiration and motivation from the members in my classes!! Fear has no place in my life or yours.

I decide everyday that I will live a healthy and active life because someday when Ross actually does destroy my body I can look back and know that I have lived an extremely blessed life!! And if Ross just leaves me alone with the limitations (I hate actually admitting that I have any after the endurance training I have put in over the years) I currently have, well then I know I will continue to get to do what I absolutely love to do!!!

Decide to face fear today and take steps to live a healthier life......and.....

Dance like you mean it!!!

History is so fun to look at!!

A really really long time ago my best friends name was Melissa Donaldson. I can't remember how we met, but I remember her being my fave person to hang out with. Our families hung out a lot too, which meant our parents were good friends and we got to hang with each other even more! Our families camped, participated in girl scouts together, and traveled together. I remember feeling completely crushed when her family moved back to Cali.

I recently discovered the magic of facebook. She reached out to me and I gotta be honest it kinda freaked me out! I mean, I look different and I am married now so my name is different. So I was skeptical when she started asking me questions about how my life is. Freaky....so I politely asked if she ever lived in Oklahoma. She was a little shocked that it seemed as though I did not remember her. I did, but was kinda weirded out by the fact that she actually found me. I don't have anything public about where I am from or my maiden name listed anywhere. Weird...so anyway she asked if she could post some pics from way back and I thought okay...if this is really her she is going to post some potentially embarrasing photos but it would show me if it was really her. Look it was!!

These are absolutely histerical!! Look at my glasses!! What is she doing???? I have no recolection of this photo but it presents the opportunity to get a really good chuckle in!!

On to Zumba, for the 2nd time today!!

~Dance like you mean it~

It's a cold world out there...

So I have now worked at a YMCA exclusively for the last 7 years. I started in the Dallas Association as a personal trainer and occasional group ex instructor. I have been in my current position for the last 3 and 1/2 years. I am the Health and Wellness Director. Until recently I only taught classes at my YMCA's. I have since added a couple of classes here and there. I recently became aware of just how special the YMCA is, and I think you will agree after I tell you this story.

I was interested in suplementing my income with an extra class here and there, like I mentioned. Well, good news travels fast and some folks in a not so far away suburb of Fort Worth called to see if I would be interested in teaching Zumba at their gym. They don't currently have Zumba so they were anxious to get it going. I drug my feet a little then thought, why not? So I responded to the email and phone call. Not so long after that I got a call from this individual letting me know she would be in my class that night and that she would be bringing a few friends by. I was actually pretty excited.

Earlier that day I had been to the Zoo with the little man and Day Camp. If you know anything about Ross Syndrome and it's symptoms you know that high temperatures will take you down faster than you can say, "Holy cow, it is really hot". Well, it was hot. I tried to rest up before class so I could present a great playlist with fun moves. About a third of the way through class, my feet were gone. It was like my upper body was floating in air and moving to music and mentally I was really foggy. I quickly responded and switched up my playlist so that I could sit for a couple of minutes while the music inspired a participant lead dance off. It was great!! Once I felt my feet again, I stood up and began to lead the class again.

The guests finished class and giggled and wiggled through an hour of cardio. They came up to me after class and introduced themselves. I was warm and friendly, but boy oh boy, I had no idea I was being criticized and judged by them the entire time.

The next day I touched base with the coordinator from the other facility and we talked about how they would implement Zumba and where I fit into the picture. She assured me that she could make me a better instructor. Ha, I thought. I, admittedly am not the best instructor, but I am pretty freakin' good. So, I began to get the feeling that this was not going to work but I continued to keep an open mind. She informed me that they have a strict uniform policy that would allow members to immediately recognize me and associate me with the Zumba format. We, all of the other Zumba, instructors would play the same songs and do the same choreo in the same order. I became more and more uncomfortable with this idea. I pondered it and questioned whether or not this would work for me. I ultimately decided that it was not going to work. I sent the coordinator an email letting her know that it was not going to be a good fit for me and listed out reasons why.

Her response was appalling!! She let me know that my moves were too repetitive, and that her gym would pull from a "broad version of the choreo Zumba sends us". She said that any sort of sitting during a class is taboo and would not be tolerated at her gym. I don't disagree, but when you can't feel your feet would it have been better to stumble around like a drunk person??? I let her know that I have invested a significant amount of money in the Zumba line of clothing to promote and be recognizable to our members. Her response to that was that the hot pink pants I was wearing showed sweat on my bottom as though I wet my pants and "well, with all of that shaking and jiggling, I am sure that is not the presentation you are intending. That is why we require our instructors to wear black bottoms, it hides all of that yucky stuff". I read that in her response and I could feel the steam coming from my ears like some crazed cartoon character. How dare she? Have I been protected in the Y world for that long? People sweat lady, and sweat in different ways!! I would love to finish a class sopping wet~Ha... ON BOTH SIDES OF MY BODY AND IN EQUAL AMOUNTS!! Perhaps if I did, she would not have been so worried about the fact that I have butt sweat!!! Get a life lady....and don't be so judgemental. You never know when and how your life will change as you age and various parts of your body begin to fail you. I embrace the fact that I am not tinney tiny. I am real. I am curvey. AND I ONLY SWEAT ON ONE SIDE OF MY BODY!! Deal with it or walk away, I don't have anyone to impress, even if I am wearing hot pink pants with a coordinating shirt and shoes, and headband. Mediocre instructors don't pack classes!!

Dance like you mean it folks, and don't worry about what others think of you!! Life is too short for nonsense like that!!

Zumbathon

We are scheduled to host our 2nd Zumbathon at the Benbrook Community Center/YMCA on Friday, August 20th from 6-9pm. All proceeds go to step up for kids, the YMCA's scholarship program for families who cannot afford the cost of a program or fee at the YMCA. Get your tickets today to take advantage of the earlybird price!
~Dance like you mean it!!

Long Time No Chat

I have decided to maybe get back to blogging!! I need to keep track of a few things here and there!! So I miss my online journal. I have been facebooking though!! I will start posting events and happenings here and there, so if you find me...stick with me and I will keep you in the loop!!

Food Log

I think this will help a little. I am having so much trouble getting the food thing back under control!! I am doing better and dropping weight, but I am far from where I want to be. I was looking at my archives and noticed that I am not eating the same as I used to. I am close but not quite.
This morning is the Benbrook Women's Tri (Sprint). As staff we all had to be here at 5:30am. It has been a very long time since I got up this early. Now with my Little Man at home, it is really hard to wake him and chance a day of crankies just so I can go for a run. I have just waited a little longer and started running at 7am. Anyway, we are all here and supporting women of all ages and sizes complete their first or hundreth sprint tri. It is very exciting, crappy weather, but exciting. I get so tired of non-athletes griping and complaining and calling these women crazy people or freaks. As I see it, they have trained hard and for at least a few months for this event. They deserve their time to shine, crappy rainy weather or not. There, done with that.

Now for some accountability!!

Breakfast at 6:00am~
Banana
Oatmeal Packet
MNS and Slim
Snack at 9:30am~
Vanilla Sandwich cookies (it's all I had)
Tea with Splenda and milk
Lunch at 1:15pm~
1 cup Chicken broth and Noodles
Maple Doughnut
Snack at 3:30pm~
2 ounces Swiss Cheese
Dinner at 6:15pm~
Cheesey Potato Casserole

Weight Checkin: 187
Exercise: None Yet

Calories:1607

Fall Breakaway 5K report

Okay, I need some tips on running 5K's at 9am. It seems my tummy and bladder are confused. I tried to wait until the last minute to get up and head to the race, but Hotty Hubby hates being late. So we showed up an hour early. Yikes!! I was starving by 9 and had to pee like crazy before mile 3. So what do you do? I guess I should have eaten before we left the apartment and well, tried to go pee before we started? Anyway, hotty hubby and I went to the KAT Fall Breakaway 5K. It was listed on my previous post. We had a great time!! It was not too crowded, but it was very hilly. It was in the TCU area...my favorite part of FW!! We finished in 42:35 (13:42/mile). Not sooo bad, but we could have finished faster had I not had to go pee so bad. I was afraid at one point that the next step I took would be like a dam breaking and all the pee would just come flowing!! Yikes...we had fun anyway!! I hope to be able to not have the bladder problem on October 24th. We will see.

Blog on friends!!

Great start to the week

So my actual birthday was a bit of a bummer, I share it with my mother in law. I know, damn the irony. She turned 60 and I turned 32. Saturday was fantastic, but my birthday was yesterday. I know my hotty hubby will eventually redeem himself. Enough about that...

I ran about 1.25 miles this evening with a friend as I was training him. It was slow and I felt like a race horse wanting to go fast. It was good that I didn't my friend is just getting started into the running thing. After I got home from work, I decided that since I was sans Little Man and Nikko I thought I would go for a run. A boy, did I ever run. I ran about 4 more miles. At first I was just running because I was still a little iritated with Hotty Hubby. So I ran until the white noise in my head went quite. It took about 2 miles at about a 12 minute/mile pace. I was pooped but then I started listening to the words of the music I was streaming. I love my IPhone, more specifically I love Pandora on my IPhone. Anyway, I was listening to Breaking Benjamin. Ordinarily this is heavy and dark music and I choose to listen to light and airy music. But tonight I wanted to do some internal fighting. I am ready to stop using my mycoplasma as an excuse. Of course this is easier when I am running and it is not 200 degrees outside. Nonetheless, I needed to kick my spirit into gear. I enjoyed the music and the run. I am tired, my legs are quivery, and lower back is a little crabby. I finished my 4 miles in about 54 minutes, slow but done!! What a way to start the week.

I would like to write more, but it is time for bed. I am wiped out!!

Blog on friends!!

Fall is coming!!

I am so excited. I have officially kicked off my fall running season. I starting running with SuperMan on Monday last week. Hotty Hubby and I ran last Saturday. This weekend has been filled with birthdays, family, naps, and food. It has been nice. I am totally embracing my 32nd year. I am proud of the first gray hair that dons my head. Well, maybe that is taking it a little too far. Haha. I was mortified when I saw it. I don't know whether to die my hair or pluck it out...hmmm.

I think I want to try to train for the Dallas White Rock half. I may not be very fast, but I want to do it. If we continue to live in a place that is 80 degrees or higher 10 months out of the year, I will not ever be able to fully devote my training to doing anything fast. Just when I think I am fit enough to handle more, it gets hot and I can't continue. It has really been a very difficult transition for me. I am only able to really train from October to late March. It sucks!!

Here is my training plan:
Run 4-5 days a week; standard long runs on the weekends.
October 3, 2009~Fall Breakaway 5K
October 24, 2009~Pink Out 5K
November 22, 2009~Turkey Trot 5 mile
December 13, 2009~Dallas White Rock Half??
January 19, 2010~Too Cold to hold 15K?
February 14, 2010~Austin Half??

We will see how all of this goes. I need some training partners!! I have Hotty Hubby and SuperMan, I think we will be okay!!

Gotta Go!! Blog on friends!!

I love hills!!

Yesterday I ran 5 of the hardest miles ever!! It was a running day so I hit a stopping point for the day at work and just took off. I was planning on running at least 6 possibly 7. I settled for 5. It is basically all up hill. Okay, so there were some down hills, but mostly ups!! Yikes!! It is a route that my friend Superman and I have contemplating. He has since broken his foot in Boot camp. Hopefully he will be ready to run soon!! I do so much better with a partner. Hotty Hubby has decided that running just looks to painful to participate. Bummer. Here's the coolest thing about this route...my sitter's house is at the top of the hill!! I can run to visit my J man. They were loading up to go swim practice and he was not happy, so I just turned around and began my trek downhill and back to the Y. It was sooooooo hard. My friend and sitter came in to the Y and announced to everyone that I was running back from her house. The hills are that big!! They all were cheering for me when I can staggering back in the front doors!! Superman was thoroughly disappointed that I had gone without him. I told him I would do it again. Hotty Hubby now thinks I can climb Mt. Michelle on my bike pulling the J man. I think he has lost his mind.

I started to get a little frustrated that I was so slow, but before I could finish the thought, I put it away. I am slow and I need to deal with that. It is getting to be summer time and I only sweat on one side of my body. I need to deal with that. I would like to just put that out of my mind and be happy that I ran 2.5 miles UP HILL!! I did something that most people are not even willing to think about trying. I am proud of that. I see the beauty in that. I am strong and powerful!! I am capable of running tough terrain in the heat and humidity, so I am going to deal with the rest of the stuff that just seems to get in the way. Worrying and getting angry at the fact that I can't sweat on one side is not going to make sweat magically appear.

So here is my plan...go on with life as planned, but just at a slower pace. I can work with that, because I know that when it cools off in late October, I will be in better shape than if I were to give up running all together. I will keep putting on my shoes and lube up just like I do during the winter. I will just have to go earlier and slower to beat the heat. I can have a longer look at the beauty that surounds me. Besides, Superman will not wait for me all summer and if I want to conquer some longer distances this fall, I can't afford to not run. So I will run now in preparation for what is to come. I will run to conquer what I believe to be a real physical limitation. I will move on. I will let it go, and get on with my journey. The finish line is always sweeter when you have to work really hard to get there.

Blog on friends!!

Hot, Hot, Hot

It is hot outside today!! There is no way around it. Just plain hot. I have a little bit of a renewed spirit today, because yesterday I found out that my mycoplasma is now dormant. Meaning, it is no longer attacking my body!! It was wonderful news!! I had the blood work to confirm it. I am still left with the heat intolerance, but not as bad. I don't have those stroke like symptoms anymore, but I get hot and miserable. That is not any different that any other human testing their limits in the heat.

Did anyone watch the Michael J. Fox thing last night? One word: Amazing. I thought I was an optimist!! He is an incredible human being! More to come on that. I would like to spend more time writing about this!

I rode 30 miles this morning. It was hot and sweaty!! I rode the first 15 in an hour, that was really good for me!! The last 15 however took me almost 2 hours!! I had to stop and keep pouring water on my right side. The tough part was that not all of the water fountains are functional along the Trinity Trail path. Most of the dog water fountains were up and running, and near the end of the ride, that was okay with me. I wasn't drinking the water and I was planning on showering the moment I walked in the door anyway!!

I decided that I will participate in an indoor volleyball league this summer. I don't know how it will go, but it is worth it just to keep working out!! I plan to still ride and run, and definitely swim, but as early as possible. I am also not going to focus on speed. Just distance. Everyday that I get to go out is a blessing. I could have been told that I was losing circulation and was going to lose my legs, but I wasn't. I was told that I have heat intolerance. Big deal!! I will learn to continue to work with it!!

I have to go for now!! Blog on friends!!

Slow running days are here again!!

The humidity is relentless around here. I was getting prepared for the heat, but totally forgot about the humidity!! That will wipe me out faster than the heat I think. I am struggling a bit with deciding what direction to go in now that I have found out about the permanent damage to my body. Those damn parasites!! The mycoplasma has done permanent damage. I will not ever be able to workout in the heat again. That leaves me sort of lost. I have always been an edurance junkie and I love to run and ride outside and what a perfect time to go, except the whole sweating thing. Poor pitiful me...blah blah blah....

Moving on. I did try to run today. I was a little late, but I did it. I ran 2 miles in 28:40, and walked the last 2 because I was burning up. I finished walking and completed my low effort workout in 1:15:30. I did stop to give Nikko and myself a big drink of water. I am just not sure what to do. Run anyway and give up on getting anything productive done during the warmer months? Run on the dreadmill? Transform into the ultimate group ex junkie? Advice? Hotty hubby thinks we ought to design some sort of jersey/shirt that has freezer pack pockets in it, so I can run with ice bags...he has lost his mind. I will just keep plodding along, literally!!

Run on friends!!

A big finish and some sad news

This weekend I participated in the Tri Benbrook Sprint Triathlon. I had a great time. I thought I had done really well until I just looked at my previous sprint times. Here is the breakdown:
Swim 300m~6:36 (2:12 pace)~October 2006
Swim (July 2006) 500m OW~14:18 (2:52pace)
Swim (May 2009) 300yd (2:13 pace)~6:38
T1 (October 2006)~2:05 (I thought I was quicker)
T1 (July 2006)~2:34
T1 (May 2009)~1:38
Bike (October 2006) 13.8miles~47:30 (17.4mph)
Bike 20K July (2006)~43:28 (17.1mph)
Bike (May 2009) 13.8 miles~59.48 (13.8 mph)
T2 (October 2006)~1:17
T2 July (2006)~2:44
T2 (May 2009)~1:32
Run 5K October 2006~39:48 (12:45's)
Run 5K July 2006~45:31 (14:35's)
Run 5K May 2009~44:39(14:19's)
Overall time: 1:37:17 October 2006
Overall time July 2006:1:48:50
Overall time May 2009: 1:54:18

I can say this about yesterday...it was crazy windy!! The temp was a balmy 75 degrees or so but the wind was gusting around 25-30miles an hour. I was trying to keep my heart rate in my heart rate zone since I have a big race planned for May 24th. I know that slowed me down quite a lot. I hope to do better next month. I did have a good time though.

Now for the sad news, I will not ever sweat on my right side again. That is quite tragic because that means that I will never be comfortable in the heat again. I guess I somewhat expected that, but I had hope that it would get better as all of my other symptoms did. I will just have to figure out some other sport to participate in during the summer months until we are able to move somewhere cooler. Maybe Canada?

Blog on friends!!

No Half?

So as it turned out I had procrastinated myself right out of the Lonestar Half Iron. I was crushed. I have spent 3 months on gruelling training. Well, maybe it wasn't soo bad. I was pretty upset though!! I got myself registered for an Olympic in Carlyle, Illinois. I am pretty fired up about that one!! I will get to use my spanky new wet suit. I am a little nervous though, the water temps are expected to be around 70 degrees. Yikes, that is cold!

I am still training, just now with a slightly different perspective. Somehow the olympic distance is not so intimidating. I can do it. I am ready for it. Now if I could just drop another 15 pounds!! I am working slowly at it. I have been adjusting my diet here and there. It is tricky!! I don't know if it is because the first time a lost a significant amount of weight I was in my 20's or if I am just not getting enough food? Who knows, I am still going to persist and defeat the fat!!

I am running in the Benbrook Sprint this weekend. I am a little excited about it. I swam today and finished a long 2000 yard swim in 56 minutes. I actually did 20 x 100's. My goal was to finish each one in 2 minutes. I did achieve that goal for the first few and then my arms got tired and I lost focus on my form. I noticed that every time I took a breath my butt sunk down a little and then I would have to work even harder to get balanced. If I stayed focused, I could take a breath without sinking...I would just roll a bit further and tuck my chin. That was a little tricky because I kept drinking water. Oh well, I will keep trying. Tomorrow is another swim and I am ready to stay focused.

Blog on friends!!

Mycoplasma

Unlike bacteria, the Mycoplasma has no cell wall. This enables it to invade tissue cells, incorporating the cell's nutrients, and using the cell to replicate itself (much like a retrovirus). When the Mycoplasma breaks out of the cell, it takes a piece of the host cell membrane with it. When the immune system attacks the Mycoplasma, it also gets "turned on" to attacking the host cell. In this way, an autoimmune condition can begin. Autoimmune conditions associated with Mycoplasmas include arthritis, fibromyalgia, myositis, thyroid dysfunction (Hashimoto's or Grave's Diseases), and adrenal dysfunction, signs and symptoms of Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Lou Gehrig's Disease.

The Mycoplasma organism has the capacity to invade cells, tissues and blood, producing systemic infections in numerous organ systems. According to Dr. Nicholson, it can penetrate the central and peripheral nervous system. Because it has the ability to damage the immune system by invading the natural killer cells (NK cells) of the lymphocytes, it weakens them, reduces their numbers, and renders them susceptible to viral infections, such as Human Herpes Virus 6 (HHV6). It may also explain some of the environmentally sensitive responses that are seen with CFIDS and MCS.

I have had this infection for about 10 years or so. We think. All I know is that I met up with this Neurologist and have not felt this good in a really long time. I did not think that this thing was affecting my everyday life and it was!! I can get up in the middle of the night and not feel drunk, I don't have the strobe light sensation when closing my eyes that I did, I have an abundance of energy, and my endurance is so much better!! It is crazy!!

This morning has been full!! I was scheduled to run with one of my co workers~we'll call him Superman~ and he stood me up. I went home and took Little Man and Nikko for a 3 mile run. I am a bit tired today, so it wasn't fast (about 43 minutes). Plus, I am 2 weekends away from my big race and am not ready to push myself really hard yet. I came back to the Y and helped teach boot camp. After that I taught Tai Chi, and will teach Cycle here in a bit. Tuesdays and Thursdays are typically like this now and it can get very exhausting. Anyway, my run this morning was good. I love the smell of spring. I am worried about the heat coming on so early, but then again, isn't it about time for it to get warm?

Tomorrow is Little Man's first birthday. I am so excited!! We are having a party this weekend at a local park. All of our family is coming in and a few friends are going to help us cook out and play!! It is going to be so much fun!! I can't wait to share some pics!!

Everyone should go outside and play today!! It is beautiful...especially if you are in the North Tejas area!!

Blog on friends!!

I need an update!!

Runner Susan if you visit me, I am in need of a serious update!! Can you help me update my blog?

Now for the serious update!! As it turns out my sweating thing is not such a cool trick!! I have been seeing a new Neurologist/Opthomologist and he has discovered the secret behind it all!! I am being treated for a micro organism called Mycoplasma. It is airborn and there is absolutely no way to determine how I picked it up. Stranger than strange...hotty hubby and little man don't have it. Without treatment, it would have eventually killed me. But now I can live forever!! Haha. I take a heavy dose of medication every morning and after a month, I can say, that maybe I don't hate Texas after all. My eyes are better, I have very little speach issue anymore, and my neurological jitteryness is gone. But wait, before you ask, no I still don't sweat on my right side. Which poses the question: Am I still heat intolerant?

That is the perfect intro into topic number two: LoneStar Half Iron Man Triathlon.

Feeling miserable in my post baby body, I sat with hotty hubby and decided that I would in fact train for a long distance tri. Am I crazy? Maybe...but it has been fun! I actually started training in January and have stuck with it. I feel awesome. My post baby love is still hanging around my body, but I figure it is the high dose of Prednisone I am on. That will be decreased again soon and I will drop the lbs. My race is Sunday, April 5 in Galveston. I could not be more excited. We have postponed any and all other races to save for this one. Runners beaware, once you cross over to the dark side of triathlon, you will go broke!! Between the wetsuit, the race entry, the bike maintainence, and all of the gel and food you need, you will need a second or third job just to pay for it!! I will keep you all posted!!

My run last weekend was particularly exciting. I was scheduled for a really long brick, but decided to switch the days and run. So I was scheduled for a 2 hour run. I ran the entire time!! I am not sure if I have ever done that. Before you start thinking to yourself wow that is fantastic, I was so slow. I only ran 8 miles, but I ran it!! I have been adhering to a very strict training regimen following a different way of training your body. I workout at a very low heart rate. My zone is 130-144bpm. That is approximately 65-75% of my max. If I go above that, it would take too long to recover and I would not be ready for my next run, swim or ride. In theory, this actually makes you run faster over time. I was a sceptic. When I first started I walked most of my sessions and stayed with in my zone. Now, I run 15min miles and stay in my zone. Now at the race, I will need to keep in my zone until mile 6 of the run. After that, all bets are off and I can run faster if, I can.

I will say this: I am faster. I have been cheating a little on this plan and have added a 3 mile tempo run one day a week over the last couple of weeks and taaadaaahhh, I am a 10:05 pacer. At least for 3 miles. My heart rate was obviously too high on those runs, but the plan is working. Cool.

Little man is awake and summoning me for some breakfast!! I love having a little one!!
Blog on friends!!