I have been reading this book called: If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat. It is by Robert Ortberg. It is very interesting. The topic of the book is finding purpose in your life and discovering what it is that God has called you to do. I suppose I am craving a bit of reality today. Hmm. Anyway, I have spent the last 2 years or so trying to figure out what my purpose in life is. I am not depressed, sucidal, or insane. I just am curious if what I am doing right now with my life is what God intended me to do. I think so, but am I? I think about my passions~running, fitness, relationships, physical challenges, the myth of limitations. Are these gifts from God or are they imposed passions that I have forced to fit into what I think my life should be. Some of you out there may be thinking; whoa Marathena this is so deep. I tried to warn you all I am in a bit of a philosophical mood today. I am left wondering if running, training, and triathloning is my calling. And if it is then what about testing patients? How does this fit in? I suppose through the fitness and health aspect, but it is not something I enjoy and wake up excited to do every couple of days. In this book, the author talks about how sometimes your calling is not something you love or are even good at. Does this fit that category? I am over reaching I am sure. I have no intentions of changing or overhauling my lifestyle or job situation. I am merely questioning my reality. I actually take much pride, joy and fulfillment in what I do every day. Even if I complain about how tired and worn out I may be.
Here are somethings that have triggered these thoughts:
Peter answered him, "Lord if it is you, command me to come to you on the water. " He said, "Come". Matthew 14:28-29.
"The line between 'Thou shalt not be afraid' and 'Thou shalt not be rediculous' is often a fine one and not easily located. Knowing when to get out of the boat and take a risk does not only demand courage; it also demands the wisdom to ask the right questions, the discernment to recognize the voice of the Master, and the patience to wait for is command."
I think this is particularly intresting because I have been told or asked if I am being rediculous about running. Is running 26.2miles or further for some of you rediculous? Or is it what we are called to do? When we bump up against failure is this some sign that we have missed a turn or have been misguided? Hummm....What are we afraid of? Failure? Isn't failure a big part of growth and maturity? Wow, these thoughts are shocking to even myself. If running is truely my passion, gift, my calling; then my excitement over conquering 12 miles could be explained.
As Arthur Miller says, "It's the lifeblood of a person, the song that her heart longs to sing, the race that his legs were born to run...There's an electricity associated with giftedness. Give a person the chance, and he will jolt you."
Wow. I can only hope that I have that kind of impact on the people I work, train, and run with.
Psalm 19
In the heavens he has set a tent for the sun, which comes out like a bridegroom from his wedding canopy, and like a strong man runs its course with joy.
"I love to think of the strong man--a champion, some translations put it--exulting in the race. He knows he's going to be taxed and stretched; he knows it will take everything he's got. But he loves the race. He relishes the challenge. He competes, not for the trophy at the end, but for the love of the game."
If you are truely compelled to run the race as I am, then this strikes you at the very core of your spiritual being. I know for sure the first time I read it, it struck me that way. As I sit reading it to my hotty hubby tears start flowing from my eyes. Why? I guess you could say I am an emotional being.
"I am convinced that if I face up to acknowledging the limitations that pain me most, there is enormous freedom and joy on the other side."
Jesus put it like this: You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of world. Others have come before you. Others will come after you. But this is your day. You are on a mission from God.
How is your mission going? Are you on the right path? Are physical rewards clouding your path? I am on a mission. Are you??
3 comments:
Karrie, God Bless You!
I smiled and laughed as I read this because of the joy and questioning that I felt while reading this. I ask the same questions all the time and wonder if I am indeed doing what God intended me to do. I honestly believe that running has come to me through God and it is something that is meant as a vehicle to serve Him and the purpose he put me on this earth.
I do not think that the accomplishments of my running are necessarily what he meant for me, but perhaps the relationships and connections that I make are more important. I believe that I am at the beginning of my mission and still have a sense of insecurity about the direction that I am supposed to go, but today you made me think and praise God when I was wrapped up in my own selfish world so thank you.
this sounds alot like A Purpose Driven Life which I am now reading for the second time. you read one chapter a day. For 40 days. it will change your life. at least it did for me. but now i want to read the one you have as well.
anyway here is my thought to your question...running, all that, are self imposed passions and to me are not what God intends as your (or my) purpose. they are not gifts from God unless you use them to do good (in my opinion). everyone no matter what handicap they may have, has a purpose on earth. Otherwise God wouldnt have made each and every one of us. even evil people are here for a reason....
there is something much deeper that God made you for. i have no idea how to tell you what that is. if you havent read Purpose Driven Life, you might want to.
i guess i have known all my life why I am here (at least why i THINK i am here; but somewhere along the way i ignored it) but am just now having the strength, knowledge to actually do something about it. well i am working TOWARDS it anyway.
sometimes our purpose may not come to us till the day before we die. hang it there. one day you'll know.
Ok - I'm going to have to re-read your post again - it is good. My thought, to piggy-back on justjunebug.. Running may not be your purpose, but I think it can be an outlet, a way to focus.. maybe a way to help you find your purpose or focus better on it.
Just a thought. Going to re-read your post once I'm off these conference calls. :)
Post a Comment